The Cocktails & Movies Ratings System – was the movie FUN?
The goal with the Cocktails & Movies ratings system is to give you a basic feel for the movie and how ENJOYABLE it is. IT IS, TO SAY THE LEAST, HIGHLY SUBJECTIVE. If we think that it’s going to be an award-winning movie, we’ll say so. If we think that the movie is lamer than parachute pants and high-tops or better than a sunet massage on the beach with a hot fudge sundae, we’ll mention it. But, we’re really just trying to make going to the movies fun again by gathering large groups of people together with alcohol, which has never, ever caused any problems…
The Cocktails & Movies ratings system is arbitrary at best. As any learned person knows, many people’s opinions on movies are subjective and made by those who have great ideas how movies should be made… It’s very hard to take any critic seriously when they compare movies made for teens and those for the art-house crowd in the same day. The Cocktails & Movies ratings system will suggest whether you may enjoy it by giving you our opinion. Adding alcohol to the mix slightly skews the results, with no discernible loss of understanding.
1 shot – The type of movie that you’ve already wasted your money to go see, so why would you spend more money to try to enjoy it with some alcohol? Drink the one shot to give your mind another burning sensation to worry about (other than the one your eyes just had to suffer).
2 shots – Not a bad movie. It could be better and with enough alcohol it could be tolerable to sit through and watch.
3 cocktails – A quality movie. The cocktails then, are for you to get in the comfort zone to sit back and relax and let the sights and sounds of a 250-seat theater envelope you.
2 cocktails, a shot and a beer chaser – A fun, enjoyable time at the theater, usually best enjoyed with friends. This type of movie usually has lots of laughter or scares. Or it’s possibly just a fun time with a movie you’ll want to talk about later.
6-pack – A movie that you’ll want to watch at home. Reserved for those direct-to-video (on demand) movies, rainy day guilty pleasures, or a my-significant-other-just-broke-up-with-me marathons of kick-ass flicks (for guys) or rom-com’s (for the ladies).
Golden flask – A GREAT movie all around. The kind of movie you want to sit in the dark auditorium, sipping a smooth whiskey throughout the entire film, enjoying every moment with a great buzz. Think “Apocalypse Now,” “Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back,” or “The Hangover.”